You know how people always say giving birth to a baby is the easiest pain to forget? When I gave birth to Brayden I cursed every woman who ever said that to me, sure that they all lied. How could I ever forget the greatest pain I've ever experienced?
Well, I think I finally have. I have not forgotten that it was the hardest thing I've ever done and a terrible (and by terrible, I mean terribly wonderful!) experience. But I don't remember feeling the pain. Of course, it was worth it. Seeing my son for the first time was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. My labor was long and at the end my pain meds were mostly if not completely gone, so I think it's okay for me to be honest and say that it was terrible. Twenty-one hours of labor with four hours of pushing, I was so exhausted that I was sure I wasn't going to be able to do it by myself (not to mention I'm a big baby when it comes to pain). I felt like I had been pushing forever and that nothing was happening, like we were just pushing for fun or for practice. The pressure was incredible, almost unbearable, and all I wanted to do was eat and sleep ( I hadn't eaten in more than 24 hours so I was already throwing up and shaking from hunger ). Then all of the sudden the doctor was there with the suction tool. He said he would try to help me but I still had to do all of the work. When I pushed he would be able to hold the baby in place in the birth canal so he wouldn't move back up in between pushes. At this point, we were about five minutes from meeting our baby boy (which actually felt like 12 hours to me), and I started to hyperventilate because I couldn't catch my breath between holding it to push and trying to breathe through the pain. The one thing that I can remember clearly during this is the doctor stopping to calm me down and saying that I needed to breathe or we weren't going forward. I needed to give him one more good push and the baby would be here. Then I said "do you promise?" Everyone thought that was funny, but not me. I wanted to make sure he wasn't just saying that. I can also remember three or four people standing around me, including Zach, yelling and cheering me on. Zach was literally jumping up and down next to me. This was actually very helpful. Sort of like when you're doing a hardcore workout and just want to give up but have a trainer screaming in your face..it pumps you up. So I put all my energy behind it and out came his head. I couldn't stop at that point. There's just something in your body that wants you to keep pushing. Then the nurses started yelling at me telling me to stop, because I guess they have to turn the baby before the shoulders come out, and all I could think was are you kidding me?? You just told me to give it all I had and now you want me to stop? Three seconds later, Brayden graced us with his presence. The rest is a bit of a blur. The doctor tossed him onto my chest, Zach was telling me to look at my baby, but I couldn't see him. I think I might have blacked out for a short time. Then as quickly as all the people came rushing in and around me, they were gone and the room was dark with just my little family.
Here we are almost four months later. So, yes I have forgotten the pain, but I can still remember my feelings about the pain. This girl is definitely not ready to do that again for awhile. For now, we will just enjoy our perfect little bundle of joy :-)